FAITHFULNESS, FRIENDS, AND FAULTS

"Never let loyalty and faithfulness leave you. Tie them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart." (Proverbs 3:3)

I stopped to reflect on this verse a few days ago. I approached this chapter of Proverbs asking the Lord to speak the truth into my heart that I so desperately needed to hear. As I read through, I kept going back to verse 3's "never let loyalty and faithfulness leave you." Curious. Not too long ago I asked several friends to help me with a self-evaluation. One of them mentioned my faithfulness as a friend, even to a fault when it might hurt my own feelings. I knew what she meant. It was true and I could totally see it. Lots of long stories there.

Remembering my college days, I had given up hours of sleep to be a listening ear, share endless advice and offer a shoulder to cry on for one devastated friend after another. Truthfully, I would've done it for anyone. I never asked for anything in return; I was just happy and willing to be there. I loved being the advice-giver. Still do. But one day I found myself hurled into a ball on my dorm room bunk bed, crying my eyes out. I needed someone to be there for me. To listen and talk, that's all. To be there. Just hours earlier, I was only to be met with a shoulder shrug of "I don't know" and a door in my face. Standing there on the other side of the door, I realized my faithfulness as a friend had failed me terribly.

Years later, I still remember the pain of that moment. The moments that led to being hurled into a ball and consoling myself are still very real. I felt as though I gave so much of me, remained loyal and constant in friendship, only to find myself alone like this.

I begged God to not make me this kind of friend anymore because it hurts and it's lonely. Then through tear-soaked eyes I gazed at the blue sky from my second floor window and the realization hit me..."Kameish, being a faithful friend is a part of who you are and you shouldn't change that." No doubt it was the Holy Spirit speaking words of comfort to my heart...a broken one. Then a smile. I still can feel the memory of that faint, knowing smile.

So this is me. Loyal and faithful, "to a fault" if you will, and I don't really think I can change it if I tried - nor do I care to. Reading Proverbs 3:3 affirms that crazy choice. Will I get hurt again by others? Sure will. But the difference now is that I know this trait reflects the One who IS Faithful; and regardless of the heartbreaks to come my way, He will always be faithful to me.

4 WAYS TO "LIVE" THIS YEAR

I've been recently thinking on a word to drive my focus this year. One to serve as motivation for the goals I've set out to reach. Well, as a quintessential over-thinker as I am, I've yet to settle on a word. But today, this one strangely resonated with me:

L     I     V     E     .

Admittedly, it didn't seem to be quite sufficient at first. Too simple. Then it started to make sense the more I thought of the implication to live. The Lord has been leading my heart in some pretty neat ways and I thought I'd share a bit of that. I've come up with my ABCD model...Action Beyond Complaining and Discouragement. Cheesy? I know. But it works and I'm sticking to it! 

If you've never considered having a word of the year I encourage you to do so. Or feel free to use mine. I'm in a sharing mood! Here are 4 ways to "live" this year:

Take Action. Or perhaps different courses of action. How many times do we sit back and accept things as they are, consequently depriving ourselves of ever knowing or experiencing if life could possibly hold more for us? It's easy to fall into a rut. A cycle of the mundane. Are you happy living your life just as you did a year ago? No changes? Nothing new? Is that repetitiveness what you're looking forward to 5 years down the road or do you envision things differently? Consider that such things as faith or repentance could be your necessary course of action. Pray about this. The actions you take now, the habits you form, will have some sort of effect. Don't let complacency be the thing that defines your life. "The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied" (Proverbs 13:4). 

Go Beyond. Don't limit your abilities. Explore your joys a little further. Develop strengths. Work a little harder at something you're good at and take it to the next level. Realize that there is absolutely no one else in the world that possesses the unique conglomeration of gifts and talents that you were entrusted with. Realize that your abilities were God-given to accomplish a purpose. Don't deprive the world of them by self-inflicted limitations or limitations on what God can and wants to do. Just remember that His glory is our ultimate goal and to be our primary focus. 1 Peter 4:10-11 puts that into perspective for me.

Nix the Complaining. I'm guilty of this - whether it's outward or in the recesses of my heart. It festers and grows into other things that we want to avoid. I totally get it more than you know...I get that life just doesn't seem to work out the way we want it to. Yes, things happen. You can't change the past. Your response to it though - THAT you can change now, for the better. Take on the attitude that you know will cultivate the best possible outcome. Develop a heart of thankfulness. Remind yourself of God's goodness in the past if you have to. Whatever it takes. It's the quickest way to change your perspective. Read Psalm 77. Out loud. To yourself.

Unfriend Discouragement and Despair. We entertain this unhealthy relationship too long and too often at times. Sometimes it creeps up and sometimes it's a quick punch in the gut leaving us debilitated for any period of time. Yes, life is full of discouragement. It WILL happen. Stuff hits the fan and that fan can rotate at any speed distributing the aura of its contents. Yuck. I know. 

Life was never promised to be hunky dory (whatever that is)! Jesus assured us that "Here on earth you WILL have many trials and sorrows. But TAKE HEART, because I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). So I cling to the victory this promises me and I cling to the promise of life more abundant...I have to remind myself that God is good and He wants good things for me in spite of this fallen world! "I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance" (John 10:10). Yes! That's what I want. Go out and "LIVE!"

WATCHING THE WIND?

"One who watches the wind will not sow, and the one who looks at the clouds will not reap." (Ecclesiastes 11:4)

Here is what I know from experience: Everyone wants to sow and reap something. But there is a tendency or action stated in this verse that would prevent one from reaching a particular goal. Human nature in and of itself is to plant, establish, create, or prepare something in order to produce a desired outcome. To sow something. 

There's the wind though. It drives things away, tosses it to and fro. In my own perceivable wisdom, I wait to make sure there's no wind at the time of my sowing because all efforts would be seemingly wasted. My hard work? Poof...gone. 

But in his wisdom, Solomon says that if we are sitting around watching the wind...paying attention to it, we'll never sow. Frankly, It's debilitating to look at circumstances and use them as a gauge for our acts of faith. Circumstances should never determine our sowing. We must have the faith that what we're putting in the ground will ultimately produce something good.

How about the one who looks at the clouds? How is she prevented from reaping? Clouds determine rain. Rain that waters and causes growth. When there's growth, there's a harvest. A reaping. 

But what's the point of looking at what we can't control anyway? Isn't that a time waster? Can looking at the clouds cause things to come about or make them happen faster? No. But, we know that we've sown in faith. Trust that when the time is just right, you'll reap a harvest.

The following verse goes on to say, "Just as you don't know the path of the wind, or how bones develop in the womb of a pregnant woman, so you don't know THE WORK OF GOD WHO MAKES EVERYTHING." (Eccl. 11:5)

So I freak out because I look at that wind and think I automatically know what's going to happen with the seeds I've sown...Nothing. Disaster. Despair. That's my prediction. Oh those seeds; were they even worth sowing? 

However, if I'm to apply Biblical wisdom, it would be to STOP WATCHING THE WIND! Look away. Let go of what I can't control anyway because it is God who makes things happen. It's all in His hands. Best hands ever if I might add!

Friend, you have absolutely no idea what He's working out. But whatever it is, it is for your good, because you know that you love Him and you are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). Sweet relief! 

WHEN MY SOUL WAITS

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,

and in his word I hope;

my soul waits for the Lord

more than watchmen for the morning,

more than watchmen for the morning." 

Psalm 130:5 

My soul waits. My soul waits for the Lord. There is a longing, a sense of distance, a sense of desperate need. Is my soul lacking communion with my Lord? My soul waits...

W A I T S...Am I to merely sit still in this stupor of hopelessness until a day unbeknownst to me that my Lord will finally act on my behalf? Make Himself clear? Give me that which my soul seeks?

As unsettling as that notion seems, I peruse the "wait" a little deeper. It is the Hebrew word "qavah." There in the qavah I see the hope my soul longs for. A word that reveals the meaning, "to bind together by twisting." It speaks of a strong, robust tying together as in that of a rope.

It also carries the meaning of expectation, which seems to have no viable correlation with the notion of strength; however these interpretations are more relatable than perceived.

Probing qavah even deeper I discover the curious meaning, "to be gathered together. To mutually expect one another. To be wound together." Ah! My soul stirs with realization steadily making its way to my heart - as sure and steady as the morning sunrise.

I find that my wait is the essence of a strong, binding rope and expectation all tied into one. An illustration of my soul with my Lord. Wound together in mutual expectation. WOUND TOGETHER IN MUTUAL EXPECTATION. 

But what does He expect of me? This weaker vessel that can barely stand on her own? Alas, here I find dependency and discipline. Discipline to keep twisting, binding my self - my soul - around the Lord, my God..."In His word I hope."

I also expect. I expect that He will be there for me, with me. He will act on my behalf. He has indeed made a covenant. I will not stray in my dependency. Instead, I will qavah for Him. More than watchmen wait for the morning. More than watchmen wait for the morning.

My soul waits for the Lord.

ALL ARE CORDIALLY INVITED

There's a Royal Wedding planned with an open invitation for anyone to accept...a King awaits his bride for whom he has prepared only the best of the best.  Will you accept?

I started my day at 5:00 am sharing in the excitement of the royal wedding.  I wanted to watch Kate Middleton live every little girl's dream of marrying a charming prince!  I couldn't help but get a little choked up over the fact that she probably never thought as a little "commoner" girl growing up that she would one day be the main attraction at a royal wedding...and there she stood.  The entire ordeal was captivating to say the least; and I found myself wondering what it would be like to be a guest at the royal wedding, better yet, to be the bride!

I found this wonderful treasure of a verse this morning in Hebrews 12:28, "Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakeable, let us be thankful and please God by worshipping him with holy fear and awe."  God used this to remind me that what He has for me, and everyone who accepts his invitation, is so much more worth looking forward to!  Everything else we have or will ever have known will pale in comparison to what Christ is preparing for us in heaven.  Jesus states in John 14:2-3 "My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."

My very own Royal Celebration draws nearer everyday!  I've already accepted my invitation.  Have you?  All are cordially invited...